Musings: Nineteen Eighty-Four

“Julia”
No answer.
“Julia, are you awake?”
No answer. She was asleep. He shut the book, put it carefully on the floor …

There is only a handful of people whom I will have conversations on certain topics. With GJ, I tried to broach these topics on several occasions. Each time, I had the feeling that she was falling asleep on the other end of the line as I rattled on.

Disinterest? Different interest?

Disinterest. I just did not seem to be able to get her to understand what I was talking about and why those issues mattered to me.

“Who cares?” She said impatiently.

“… … she become bored and confused and said that she never paid any attention to that kind of thing.”

I wonder if the younger generations, including my own, are getting more indifferent to the world around them, not sufficiently interested in public events to notice what is happening and thus are just accepting what is put out in front of them.

Oceania was at war with Eastasia: Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia.

Are people’s memories really that short?

Afghanistan, Osama bin Laden, the Taliban, nuclear weapons, Saddam Hussein, terrorism, Iraq …

Can history really be so easily forgotten and then replaced or rewritten? Are people questioning less these days?

“Look at the condition you are in!” he said. “Look at this filthy grime all over your body … Look at your emaciation …”

He seized one of Winston’s remaining front teeth between his powerful thumb and forefinger. A twinge of pain shot through Winston’s jaw.

I winced. I felt nauseous and probably would have thrown up my breakfast if I had any that morning.

I wonder how much humiliation and degradation my body can take before my spirit breaks. I wonder how much torture and pain would be needed to make me surrender my thoughts. I wonder how easy it is to brainwash and manipulate my mind. How strong am ‘I’?

But yet in the first place, am I really thinking my own thoughts? Or have I been so conditioned that I am actually speaking what others are saying?

I wonder ... ...

I love myself.