Post Match Ramblings 200307

Played a best-of-5 match with Meng Ooi today and I lost 2-3 (10-8, 3-9, 7-9, 9-7, 6-9). The game ended with some fluke shot from him. Haha.

I enjoyed myself. I was hitting relatively tight shots and moving quite smoothly. I found myself volleying and attacking loose shots more often now. My efforts in badminton seemed to be paying off. However I was not competent in directing my volleys. Quite a number of shots either hit the tin or came out loose. I need to be able to place my volleys much better.

I was watching my balance quite a bit. I had the habit of moving off the T before the opponent hit. Resulted in quite a number of rallies lost, especially when he pushed the ball front off my service. I also tended to be unbalanced when going in for the front shots. Rushing. That unbalance caused delay in returning to the T and a brief moment of attention lapse. If Meng Ooi were to attack the return, I would have problems getting to the ball.

I played well in patches. For short periods, I was focused and really into the game. Then my thoughts would start drifting and suddenly I would realised that I had lost quite a few points. The gaps in attention definitely need to be shortened and eventually eliminated. Well, these gaps are also the reason why I am unable to type a full match report now. I can only recall snippets of the game. Too much of the time I was just not there.

Well, that intense but relaxed focus ... I am slowly building it up. And enjoying the process. =)

相逢

It was sometime in August 1998 that I received the folder from Yee-leng. We were hardly seeing each other then, all busy with JC life. Then I took a step back to reflect on certain things and subsequently wrote this essay during Chinese class. While I have to admit the essay is not quite original with several phrases taken from “溪水长流”, this is the essay I am most proud of. Simply because I wrote it with my friends in mind.

Due to the decreasing proficiency in the language, I struggled for hours to type in the essay … so please enjoy your read.

手里拿着一杯鸡尾酒，我在人群中徘徊， 见了熟人便打个招呼， 并交谈起来。 有时也因朋友的介绍而与素味平生的同行人士谈上两句。身为生意人，少不了交际应酬，而这样的宴会已成为我生活的一部分.

忽然，我感到一股疲劳，想离开这繁杂的大厅。我便独自走向泳池的另一端，找个无人的角落坐下来， 一个人静一静。 我厌倦这日忙夜忙， 奔波劳累的生活。 我讨厌商业界里所存在的明争暗斗，勾心斗角，尔虞我诈。有时我不知身边的人是友还是敌， 不知能信任谁。我想放弃这社会阶级的攀爬，放弃所有一切，并远离这个地方，到没人认识我的角落过无拘无束的生活。 可惜我没勇气违抗父亲，只好听他的话在他的公司办事，继续他的事业。我被一切邦了下来，失去了自由， 找不回自我.

辽望着夜空里的星星，一颗颗闪烁不定的星星，我觉得它们很孤独，孤伶伶的站岗在漆黑广阔无际的天边，有如我一人在社会里挣扎求存。 我那孤单的心情又有谁会了解呢？

忽然幽幽的琴声侵扰了夜里的宁静，打断了我的思路。啊！这熟悉的曲子 。。。 是他吗？不可能！我不由自主地向大厅走去。走着， 走着，我如走入时光隧道， 回返从前 。。。

那时年纪还轻，我满腔热忱，充满希望与梦想，而这一切唯有他能听得懂。我们俩是莫逆之交，非常了解对方。每当我失意的时候，他会尽量安慰我， 逗我开心，解我烦忧。我们每休息时间都到个小角落谈天说地， 向对方透露深藏心里的心事，并想象他日的路途。

"我想当个探险家，探索没有人去过的地方。我要到世界每一个角落探知所有一切。那我就能过着无拘无束的生活，并能攀高山越峻岭，过着多姿多彩的日子。想一想我会去到的地方 ...”

他笑了笑便认真地说：“我要做个伟大的音乐家。千千万万的人将会来观赏我的演奏会。我现在已能感受到那时热烈的掌声 ...”

可惜天下没有不散之宴席。 中四年终考后， 我们走上了自己的路。别离的时候，他轻拍我的肩，对我说：“朋友，不要太惆怅。这首歌是我写给你的，希望你会好好保留。而你送我的口琴，我会永远带在身边。” 说着，他拿出口琴，将那首歌吹奏，琴声幽幽 ...

他到澳洲留学，而我留在这里继续我的学业。起初，我们还有写信保持联络。可是，时间不饶人，也不为我们停留，很快地，我们被卷入忙碌的生活中。渐渐地，我们失去了联络。失去了这位知己，我沉静了许多，总把心事藏在心里。 我也不再做梦，不再谈梦，并把梦想抛在脑后，只做个乖孩子，听随父亲的意思 。。。

一位身穿大衣的音乐家在我眼前出现。他从口袋里拿出小小口琴，吹奏了起来，而忘了周围的人，忘了等着为他伴奏的同事们。歌曲牵动了我的心弦，鼻子一酸，眼泪夺眶而出，像细雨一样，籁籁地流下来， 再次点燃了心中那追梦的一把火。

______________________________________________

Our Dreams Part 1


Our Dreams Part 2


yes, the days where we had our fantasies ...

A little poem ...

As I have mentioned previously, Yee-leng has great artistic flair. She gave me an entire file full of scrap pieces of paper with scribbling of her work one day in JC1. This poem was found in the file and I just thought of posting it.

As I sit here	Tomorrow awaits us,		Our hearts are linked,
With my thoughts aflow	With the turning of this		By a human emotion,
& my spirit at peace	Mighty sphere.		By the peace of the night
The quietness of the night	A new turn of events,		With the upper world
Soothes my soul.	More challenges ahead.		As witness.
God is watching over me	Be it good or bad,		But the day we part,
From the havens above	It all lies above.		With things yet undone,
Thoughts and worries are but	In the next part		Of dreams unfulfilled,
Specks of stars in	Of the sky,		Will come.
The distance:	Of our life,		The wound will bleed,
Shrouded in the blanket	Under the veil of		The tears will fall,
Of the unseeing,	Mystery.		But blood will clot
Of the closed eyes.	Like the knocking of		& the fullest lake will dry.
My mind travels across	A stranger on the door;		The link of time passes us by,
The countless miles	As the game of		The bond is broken,
To a little place called home	Chance proceeds,		A wall is built,
In my heart.	Paths intertwine.		Close to me you
Where my sister sits	Friendships form.		May be,
In the same solitary silence	A brief elapse of memory		But our spirits will fly
At her desk	& a blank appears,		A different direction
Penning a letter to me.	With the parting of lands.		Willful, lost, wondering
Outside her window,	It is but a past,		& ignorant.
The same starry nightsky,	Lasting now,		I cherish every moment
The same thoughts,	But not forever.		Of this night.
The same peace.	Today,		I thank God I’ve
	You'll be here with me Dreaming of things undone,		Known you. I pray for you,
	Waiting to be fulfilled Together		I pray for the Hesitance of time.
			One day we shall Smile on our tears
			With acceptance.

“As you turn the pages, leave no article un-scrutinized (inside-out, front-back). I know we’ll never be in the same class again, so treat this as a ‘dossier’ of the two years in secondary school we have spent together. (Where you’ve received 50 white slips for playing with & wasting water, 20 yellow slips for bullying of person sitting in front of you, and a blue slip that accounts for my never seeing you due to your attendance in Chinese lessons.)”

This file is one of the greatest gift I have ever received.

On My Friends

A recollection of my squash journey does not seem quite complete without touching on my closest friends. The people who grew up with me, made my RGS days real fun and kept me sane in my darkest times. We had our own share of friendship issues but I guess we managed. I think I would not have been able to survive my Sec 3 and Sec 4 years without them. For one, without their generous sharing of homework, I would not have been able to hand up my assignments on time. Without their well-taken notes, I would have no idea what went on for the lessons which I failed in my many attempts to keep awake.

My three dear friends ...

Wenjie: Meticulous, neat, organized and down-to-earth. It was really her luck that she had to sit right next to me in class and put up with the mess I was always in. She tried to keep me awake with her nudges and pinches with no avail. Her attempts to make me a better student somewhat failed.

My messy corner which WJ had to put up with

She is ever so dependable and trustable. We would not have managed our dinners, outings and chalets without her. As we await the birth of her first child in June, I suspect it would be a long time before we will have a chalet or a gathering of any sort that would require a bit more coordination.

Yee-leng: A blur blob. I had most fun with her in school. We always spent the few minutes in between lessons in the toilet having water fights. Our classmates would look at us in amazement as we returned totally drenched in our blue pinafores.

I have always admired her creative talent. We would give little notes and gifts to each other during those days and I had always enjoyed receiving hers. They were always filled with cute drawings, funny descriptions and some real cool poems that would make my day. These little treasures I still keep with care up to today.

Cheryl: The shortest amongst us and the one I enjoyed teasing the most. On many occasions, Yee-leng and I would steal her shoe and throw it down from our 4/1 classroom onto the quadrangle one level below, causing her to scramble down with only one shoe to retrieve the other one.

She is one person I know ever so sweet and caring. She is always there to listen and I find it easy to pour my heart out to her.

Last Christmas, I received a card from Cheryl as usual. She is the last few people I know who are still religiously sending Christmas cards. On top of the usual season greetings, she added a few comforting lines, knowing that I was going through a rough patch. My reply to her via SMS was “Thanks for your card. Yes, for certain things, the passing of time would heal. But I know some things that time would never erode away. The friendship between us and your ugly handwriting! Ha, I recognized your chicken scratching the moment I saw the card.”

We have known each other for more than half our lives now. We have gone on rather separate paths since secondary school and because of our hectic schedules, we meet only once in a while, mostly for each other’s birthday. However after all these years, the bonds between us still remain strong and I am very thankful for that.

Back then, I could not spend that much time with them because of my trainings and had a tendency to “neglect” them. With my focus on squash, I probably did not show as much appreciation for their friendship as I should have. But I guess it is true when Ellen Petersen said that real friends will understand your priorities and will always be there for you. It is only acquaintances that one has to keep though constant hanging out for fear of losing them.

(Ellen Petersen was then the No.1 squash player in Denmark when I had the privilege to interview her during one Singapore Open. The question was on how she managed squash, medical school and social life.)

I am grateful for these great friends who I have grown up with and whom will walk with me for the rest of my life.

The Harbours from Before: The Bane of the Tenth Title

Yupz, RGS did not manage to win our 10th consecutive title for the National Schools. Things just took a bad turn. I suppose quite a number of factors contributed to the slow decline of RGS squash. I could definitely list them down here but I do not want to sound as if I am trying to find any excuses for our failing.

I have wondered whether it is just like any great empire or dynasty that goes through its cycle of rise and fall. Maybe a great civilization just can't last forever ...

Apocalypto started with "A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within".

I guess the statement is true for us to a large degree.

Oh well ... ...