The Harbours from Before: Leaving for another Phoenician trading station

I started my recount about one and a half years ago and with the posts on my undergraduate days, I suppose I can now close this chapter which captures my experiences from the time I started squash to the time I started this blog.

I reiterate the reasons behind this series of posts …

1) I just want something to write about.
2) I hope that in reflecting my past experiences, I can take a deeper look into why I started on this journey and thus find strength to continue ...
3) I believe I have a story to tell. Nope, I am not a jaded traveller whom has seen it all. I am simply a young Singaporean who faces similiar issues as most students/teenagers/young adults out there. By sharing my experience, I hope to find like-minded people who can walk the path with me as well as motivate some to walk on.
4) I picked up squash in 1994, more than 12 years ago. It has given me some of my happiest and saddest moments. I would like to capture it while I feel it is important to.

And perhaps by writing some of the things down, I can finally let go of the baggage. I have left those memories somewhere and need not carry them with me anymore.

The experiences however have deeply contributed to my growth, built my character and influenced my views and beliefs. Sports has indeed taught me a lot.

Well, I continue my voyage … knowing arrival is my predestination.

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Ithaka

Setting out on the voyage to Ithaka
You must pray the way be long,
Full of adventures and experiences.
The Laistrygonians, and the Kyklopes,
Angry Poseidon, don't be afraid of them:
You will never find such things on your way.
If only your thoughts be high, and a select
Emotion touch your spirit and your body.
The Laistrygonians, the Kyklopes,
Poseidon raging - you will never meet them,
Unless you carry them with you in your soul,
If your soul does not raise them up before you.

You must pray that the way be long;
Many be the summer mornings
When with what pleasure, with what delight
You enter harbours never seen before;
At Phoenician trading stations you must stop,
And must acquire good merchandise,
Mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
And sensuous perfumes of every kind;
As much as you can get of the sensuous perfumes;
You must go to many cities of Egypt,
To learn and still to learn from those who know.

You must always have Ithaka in your mind,
Arrival there is your predestination.
But do not hurry the journey at all.
Better that it should last many years;
Be quite old when you anchor at the island,
Rich with all you have gained on the way,
Not expecting Ithaka to give you riches.

Ithaka has given you your lovely journey.
Without Ithaka you would not have set out.
Ithaka has no more to give you now.

Poor though you find it, Ithaka has not cheated you.
Wise as you have become, with all your experience,
You will have understood the meaning of an Ithaka.

More videos for viewing pleasure

Just three more videos I have to put up.

This one is on cross-campus. One would think a video on cross-campus would be kind of monotonous but this guy did a great job. I like the song for its meaningful lyrics and catchy tune. It’s one of the songs that I would put on repeat mode on my iTunes.



The next two videos show that Temasek may not always be the winner. Things do not always go our way. But we will always come back again.



And despite the odds, we will always put up a good fight and keep the spirit high. Sou!

The Harbours from Before: IHG Handball

My favourite IHG game is handball. I suppose it was because everyone started without background, learnt the sport from scratch and slowly came together to enjoy the game.

It was the sport whereby the result would much depend on the true strength of the team. There wasn’t any national player or varsity player that could be brought specially into any particular hall to swing the outcome.

Temasek had always been strong in handball given our pool of athletes from various other sports, especially basketball and netball. In Year 1, we won with Jean and Lixiang being the main scorers. In Year 2, even though they had graduated, the team remained pretty strong. However we screwed up somehow and did not even make it through to the semis. It was very upsetting.

In Year 3, I finally made the main team. Well, compared to the basketballers and netballers, my footwork was never as nifty and passing as swift. However I worked on my defense and made the effort to be one of the most accurate shooters. It was like aiming for the nick … Every ball I shot, I would aim for one of the 4 corners and after many trainings, I suppose my shooting naturally got sharper. With that, I earned my keep as the right winger, the position with the smallest shooting angle for a right-hander.

But in Year 3, we lost to Kent Ridge in the finals by 1 goal. 5-6.

And in the following year, we again lost to Kent Ridge in the finals by 1 goal. I felt that familiar heartache when I read the report in Philly.

In Year 5, we finally won that handball gold that slipped through our fingers for the last 3 years. I am very proud of the team that I played with, especially Yuhan, Yolanda, Haili, Candice, Huilin and Weiling.

It was not the actual winning that still touched my soul. It was the journey we took together as we worked towards the common goal. That strong desire to bring home the gold.

I remember on the day of the finals, I was in my room suppressing the prematch jitters and trying to focus on my thesis. Suddenly I got a sms from Haili saying that she was getting excited and nervous about the match and could not concentrate on her work. And immediately I got smses from Yuhan and Yolanda from their classrooms expressing the same thing. I replied “Me too! But let’s just breathe …”. That was followed by a string of messages as we encouraged each other and affirmed that we were going to play a smashing game that night.

That was our final year, our last chance at the gold. It was such moments that connected and bonded the team, and made the difference.

p/s: guys, i just thought about that beautiful cross we did that day. The cross so swift and smooth that we created that huge gap. we did not manage to score but gosh, it was one cool set-up ... =) ... haha ...

The Harbours from Before: Temasek Hall

I have to touch on hall life before I close the chapter here. It would otherwise feel kind of incomplete.

Yup, I stayed in Temasek Hall for 4 years. I went back in my 5th year even though my batch mates had all graduated and left. It was a great place to be at and as the hall anthem goes "proud of this hall we call our own, Some call it hostel, We call it home".

Given my schedule, I was never a true blue hostelite. My hallmates would go for suppers at 2 am, sleep at 4 am after their committee meetings and wake up at noon ... I could not ... I did not participate in many of the hall activities either. However I still felt very much for this community. For me, it was largely to due to the Inter-Hall Games (IHG) whereby strong camaraderie was fostered through trainings, heartaches and triumphs. IHG typically starts in Jan each year and lasts 5 to 6 weeks. And the bulk of the trainings would occur during the Nov/Dec holidays.

I enjoyed playing in IHG. It gave me the opportunity to pick up other sports, such as handball, basketball, netball, badminton and touch rugby. I wished I had time for games like soccer, softball and volleyball.

There was something about playing for Temasek.

I fought along side with people whom I lived with. Chaps who knocked on my door during the Dec holidays trying desperately to gather the team for 8 o’clock training. Kind souls who shared their bread as we waited for the internal shuttle to SRC. Neighbours who I had seen in their most un-glam state when they woke up with their hair disheveled and I had heard screaming when there was a lizard in their rooms.

And when I played, there would always be Temasekians at the sideline cheering the team on. The support could be immense and that could certainly drive one to fight despite the odds. That sort of feeling I had not felt elsewhere. Not in my years of playing for RGS or RJC or NUS …

Perhaps the clip below could better bring across that feeling. It shows the culmination of sweat, blood & tears put into each IHG. Some of those who played 6 to 8 sports would have trained 3, 4 sessions under the sun each day for the past months to make it happen.

ps: pardon the quality of the clip. it has been highly compressed.

The Harbours from Before: Undergraduate Days Part III

Almost immediately upon my return, I was put up at Shangri-La for a few days as a participant of the Lee Kuan Yew Global Business Plan Competition in which my team emerged first runner-up. The morning after we checked out, I met Ansari at Bishan Junction 8. I did not communicate much with him the year I was in Philly. And so that morning, I found out that the group had stopped playing squash. He was not keen to coach anymore as well.

That was extremely unexpected. It was not according to what I had planned.

I did not have to (or want to) think about “what’s next?” as I finally got hit by jetlag. Thereafter, I kept myself busy with the shift back to hall, the business case, catching up with friends, settling back into school, starting on my final year project etc. I was, for once, a full-time student and it was darn boring.

As IHG approached, I finally picked up my racket and played a couple of times a week. I broached the topic with Ansari on a few occasions, and yah, I put my foot down and said I wanted to give it another go. We would build it up slowly again.

An environment once lost was arduous to recreate. A routine once broken was difficult to get back into. Like a car that has not raced for a long period of time. Ignite the engine, it runs for a while before spluttering and conking out … Crank it up again, it clanks noisily, chokes and then goes flat.

The impetus was really great. It was much more comfortable to snooze in bed for 10 minutes more each morning. Hanging out and lazing around with friends was an easier going. And why not just study more that I really have to for that security of getting good grades.

Well … but I had made that choice. I stuck to it. I would get off track but I would get back again … and again … and again …

Things could only smoothen out.

Lightning McQueen: Okay. Here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed. One winner. 42 losers. I eat losers for breakfast. Breakfast? Maybe I should have had breakfast? Brekkie could be good for me. No no no. Focus. Speed. Faster than fast, quicker than quick. I am Lightning.

The Harbours from Before: Undergraduate Days Part II

yah, after putting in so much time and effort, sometimes I felt I was getting nowhere. We trained independently on our own with no support from the squash association or the sports council. We relied entirely on our own resources. While I was amongst the top few women players in Singapore, I was never considered a National player as I did not attend National training. I certainly did not care to be labeled as one. But the lack of transparency in the system irked me. There was hardly any local tournaments for senior players. There was no ladder system to establish a fair ranking of players in Singapore. And there was no open selections to choose the best to represent the country in international tournaments.

Since we are a meritocratic society, I would think there should be a fair system to establish the top players in Singapore, those who deserve the resources and those who should represent the State. But no. I know of some real lousy players who were under “national training” and actually represented Singapore just because they were favourites of a couple of coaches in favourable positions.

Such things just took energy and spirit away from the pursuit …

In early 2003, I stumbled upon the NOC program. The successful applicant would spend one year in the States (it had since then expanded to include more locations) working in a start-up company while studying part-time in the partner university. The program was very attractive and having chosen not to pursue an overseas education previously, I could not help but wonder what the experience would have been like. Plus, I wanted a break.

I applied for the program and eventually got a placement. My fourth year as a NUS student was spent in Philadelphia as an intern in StarCite, Inc and as a part-time student in the University of Pennsylvania. The program taught me a lot and most importantly, it affirmed how I should live my life.

Before going to US, I was leading a very disciplined and focused life. A typical day when in university would involve waking up by 7 am, doing my quiet time, packing breakfast from the com hall, training at Temasek Club, going for classes, training again in the evening and returning to hall only around 10 pm. I would then grab a shower, have my packed dinner which had been hanging on my door, do some work and hit the bed by midnight. I was directed and driven by a strong intent.

But when I was in the States, discipline in that same way was the last thing on my mind. On a regular basis, I would hit the bar at night, have a few rounds of beers and cheese fries, get home way past midnight and then go to work somnolent the next day. I would get by that day in a slumber but it was alright as I did not need to be that alert and clear in the head anyway. I also had numerous parties and gatherings at my place and hung out a lot at my friends’ place, just chatting, playing cards etc.

On some weekends, my friends and I would take a road trip somewhere. We would leave Philly on a late Friday night or early Saturday morning and return late Sunday night or even early Monday morning just before work. I had seen and experienced quite a lot on these travels. We played, ate and had lots of fun. I guess for once, I did what my friends did and led a “normal” life.

I did appreciate and enjoy that experience but at the end of one year, I had to ask myself what I had truly gained from this mode of operation …

The walk amongst entrepreneurs taught me one thing. Something worthwhile pursing takes hell lots of time, effort, commitment, passion and motivation. They take years to develop one product and build that one great company. They make many sacrifices to pursue their dreams and bring their ideas to fruition.

The same goes for a great athlete.

I spent my last weekend in US alone at Lake George, New York.

How do I want to live?

Where does my passion lie?

What do I really want to achieve?

What are the things most important to me?

I decided to continue the journey as a true Ithakan.

The Harbours from Before: Undergraduate Days Part I

I wanted very much to get it back and decided that the best way forward was to continue training under Ansari in Singapore. As such, I ended up spending 5 years in NUS pursuing a Mechanical Engineering degree. The first 3 years were spent playing competitive squash, the fourth in Philadelphia under the NUS Overseas Colleges (NOC) program and the fifth trying to figure what really mattered.

Let me start with the first 3 years …

Those were enjoyable times. Studies wise, I maintained a certain level of flexibility in my schedule, attending classes and doing tutorials only when I felt it was useful to. I did not have to face any pressure from the school, kept to my own pace and knew just enough to take the final examinations.

Squash wise, of course I faced the usual ups and downs. Some days were fantastic! I felt world-class. Some days were really bad … I would play real lousy. On hindsight, though it did not feel that way then, things were actually going on well.

Belinda Foo came in our lives somewhere along the line. Ex-national squash player, mother of three, a musician by profession and currently a triathlete. She was one great personality and certainly a superb training partner. To accommodate her work schedule, we started training in the mornings. This was on top of the regular sessions we already had on almost every weekday evenings and Sunday afternoons. Twice or thrice a week, we would play for an hour or so starting from 8 am at Temasek Club. She would then drop me back in school for the 10 o’clock lecture in which I would inevitably fall asleep. And therefore sometimes I would rather go for mee soto at Clementi instead. ;-)

Wah Siew, Belinda and I played as a team in the Ladies’ Premier in 2002 and 2003 and also the Men’s C Grade in 2003. While we did not win, we did not do too badly either. Looking back, it was good fun. Some of the matches were excellent.

Yup, the dream team. haha ... ;-)

And it was during the league back in mid-2003 that I played my last matches with Nur and Vicki, who were then No 2 and 3 in Singapore. I can’t remember the matches but I know I lost to one in four games and the other in five after a close fight. In terms of fitness and skill, we were comparable. I only lacked that bit of confidence. Just that little bit more. I felt I was almost there.

But perhaps this set of results came a little too late …

I left for the States on 30 Aug 2003 … only to return one year later to find that everyone had stopped playing ...

Now I really look forward to competing again ...

First Video Post

Video Uploading has been out of draft for some time now and I have on many occasions tried putting up a video.

One more try after converting to mpeg today.

Kudos to Veron for my favourite ihg squash video. =)